Hail to the Chief

So I spent an hour yesterday evening talking to a mate about England’s best formation and line up for the upcoming tournament. Because I have absolutely nothing better to do than to discuss the finer points of whether we’d be better off going with a 4 3 3, a 4 4 2 or playing a 4 5 1 whilst ensuring that the full backs get forward. And what is our best pairing at centre half. And is Rooney best suited to playing the Number ten role. And should Jack Wilshere start even though he’s played only one hundred minutes more top level football this season than I have. As you can imagine, if there would have been anyone else in the room who wasn’t interested in football, they’d have left after five minutes (it’s possible this happened and we didn’t notice).
You won’t be surprised to hear that we didn’t really come to a consensus but even if we had, getting our conclusions to Roy Hodgson would be difficult to say the least. Two days before the start of Euro 2016, he’s probably got other things to think about aside from what two random blokes with no top level managerial experience between them might have to say about his team selection and tactics. To be honest, if he showed any interest whatsoever, I’d start to doubt his credentials for the job.
One thing we did agree on was how hard the England managers job is and why on earth would anyone want it. Sure there’s the pots of cash but the pressure must be immense. And of course there are the free tickets to any game you want to watch but I’d assume that if the FA were considering you for the job, you probably wouldn’t have trouble getting tickets anyway. But seriously, who would want to take a job when you know that firstly, pretty much everyone else in the country thinks they can do that job just as well or slightly better than you? I’m not sure there’s any other job where that’s the case. If some bloke comes to mend my washing machine, I don’t have endless discussions with my mates about how I’d mend the washing machine given the chance. I just let him mend it. That’s his job.
Secondly, if you’re England manager, you also know that there’s a good chance that at some point, you probably won’t be able to leave your house or pop down the shops without getting dirty looks from random strangers. Now I have some experience in this department having once done a terrible gig on the QE2 and then having to stand in the breakfast queue the next morning. It was upsetting but, short of throwing myself over the side, there was nothing I could do.
Lastly, unless you’re very good and very lucky, you know that it will end in failure, ignominy and disappointment and you’ll be a national figure of fun, compared to root vegetables and possibly unemployable for two or three years at the least. You may well have to go abroad to get work and there’s no guarantees. Why put yourself through it?
I guess everyone goes into it thinking they’ll be the one to turn things around, revive England’s fortunes and lead us into the promised land. Even though experience suggests otherwise. I imagine they go to sleep at night thinking of telling substitutions late in games, thrilling comebacks, trophies, medals, glowing newspaper headlines, open top bus parades and the new years honours list. They probably don’t imagine standing in the pissing rain at Wembley getting dogs abuse for using an umbrella.
Anyway, Roy seems like a decent bloke. He’s massively experienced and he knows way more about football than anyone I know and I’m sure he’s spent many hours discussing the same things me and my mate did last night. Only with much more insight and awareness. He’s probably better prepared than a lot of England managers and he’s got a young hungry squad with some serious attacking talent. Maybe this is the year. But only if he talks to me before the tournament starts.