I’m definitely watching the world cup on the BBC. To be honest, aside from the early rounds of Britain’s Got Talent when there’s a reasonable chance of seeing someone with a serious personality disorder singing Lady Ga Ga’s Paparazzi, I rarely watch ITV but that’s because I’m a snob. For national sporting events, particularly England games, watching on ITV seems unpatriotic. I don’t want independent television. I want British television.
Partly, it’s the theme tune. Bittersweet Symphony? We know! How clichéd can you get? They might as well play “The Only Way is Up” by Yazz at the start of the game and “It’s a Heartache” by Bonnie Tyler at the end.
But mainly it’s the ads. There are so many of them. At least two breaks in the build up including one of them after the teams have come out. A break as soon as the half-time whistle goes, another one just before the start of the second half, one straight after the final whistle and at least one more during the post match analysis. While I’m watching football, I don’t want to be assaulted by loud exhortations to buy Hyundai cars (or any cars. I’m just using them as an example). I don’t want to buy a newspaper just because someone who used to manage England is selling it to me. And I don’t need new trainers.
In other countries it’s worse. The yanks can’t really get their heads round a sport where there is forty-five minutes of continuous, uninterruptible action. Their favourite sports seem almost as if they’ve been designed with advertisers in mind. They need a time out every ten minutes so they can try and sell us erectile dysfunction cream. I was in Malaysia for one world cup and they kept playing adverts for Dunhill cigarettes (those were the days) when the ball went out for a throw. This was before the multi-ball system where another ball is instantly given to the thrower but Malaysian football fans still missed a couple of goals. Thankfully, this doesn’t happen here (OK, once during an Everton v Liverpool cup replay when ITV thought they’d take a chance on a couple of ads during extra time and missed an Everton goal. What were they thinking?).
This problem with the adverts is not just confined to football. Cricket on Channel Four “solved” the problem by playing adverts when someone lost their wicket. But I found that deeply unsatisfying, particularly when I’d just watched a batsman score a century and instead of seeing them get a standing ovation, I'd get the Ronseal Woodstain bloke.
Probably the only way round this thorny issue is for there to be a dedicated BBC TV sports channel paid for by a rise in the licence fee. I understand this wouldn’t be particularly popular with the people who don’t watch live sport but seriously, who cares about them?
Anyway, I watched some of England v Mexico on ITV but that’s because there was no alternative. (Well I could have watched The Chelsea Flower Show on BBC2 instead of football but I fear that may have lost the world cup blog some credibility). I rarely watch the friendly games. My God they’re dull. You can go away for ten minutes and the only significant action you’re likely to miss are the five substitutions for either side. The only exciting moment was after the game. That was when ITV showed the NIKE world cup ad and we all wondered if this time, they were going to play all of it. They showed the ad after the Champions league final but they missed the last ten seconds. The ten seconds when the ad tells us what they’re advertising. Apparently, Nike are not going to pay the £1.5 million they owe to ITV because they screwed up. Deservedly so. It was like them showing a three-minute joke and then missing out the punchline.
So for all these reasons, if I have a choice it’s the BBC for me. But I’ll miss Adrian Chiles who I thought came across well on his ITV debut although I think that in the spirit of the friendly international, they should have substituted him at half time for another untried presenter.
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