Obama

I’ve been crying this week. I’m a forty-five year old man and I’ve been crying. Because a politician got elected. Jesus! What’s happening to me? Next thing you know, I’ll be watching soap operas and feeling empathy. People are looking at me in the same way that I looked at people who cried over Diana. My mates tell me I’m being irrational. They’re suggesting I have the emotional maturity of a six-year old girl.

It wasn’t this way for Blair, at least I don’t remember it being this way. When Blair won on that warm spring evening in May 1997, I was at a party in Islington (where else?) and we celebrated not, in my memory for Tony but because the many-headed beast of the Conservative party had finally been defeated. And not just beaten, they were stuffed. It was a happy time. But I never cried.

Obama is different. He’s hip. He’s cool. He’s universally known by just one name. (The ultimate in branding. Madonna, Kylie, Hitler although that one didn’t work out) He’s a black man in The White House. The symbolism!

So, in this momentous month, with that in mind, I’ve decided to post what I hope will be the first of a number of blogs. It’ll be a collection of thoughts and ideas with a basic sentence structure and proper punctuation. I'm not sure of the libel laws vis a vis blogs but it's unlikely that scurrilous gossip will make too many appearances on this page. It's a shame really because there's nothing I like more than scurrilous gossip but if there's even the slightest chance of me getting into legal difficulties, I'm not sure it's worth the trouble. Unless it’s particularly funny and then I’ll take my chances.

Why add my voice to the millions of others currently doing the rounds on computers around the world? Well first of all, the world changed on 5^th November and now seems like the right time to get going. Obama’s only two years older than I am and he’s the President of the most powerful country on earth. I’m a slightly successful stand-up comedian. I think I’m underachieving.

Plus there’s the possibility of a wider audience. I like the idea of someone in China being able to read stuff that I've written and possibly comment on it. Not just China obviously although that's a big market. There may be translation issues as well although I haven't really thought it through. Truthfully, I'm not that bothered whether Chinese people read it or not. Not that I've got anything against the Chinese. I was just using them as an example. I had stir-fry with black bean sauce yesterday and it was very tasty.

I'd be glad if anyone in the United States reads this. To you people, I say "well done" and I'm aware of the patronising nature of that last statement but all the same, it seems appropriate to offer my congratulations. You did the right thing by the rest of the world and we’re glad. There was nothing we could have done anyway but we’re glad all the same.

I used to do a joke about how American elections are far too important to be left in the hands of Americans and it always got a big laugh. In one sense, I'm pissed off I can't use it any more but on the other hand, electing Obama is something that's good for the world and I’ve realized I  should put aside my selfish satirical side. At least for this week. 

To the doomsayers I say what Obama says. “Yes we can”. Unless you’re John Seargent and you obviously can’t. (For specific British references, you’ll have to ask a friend). Because it’s going to be OK. Obama exudes confidence. He looks like he knows what he’s doing. Whereas George W Bush looked like he’d wandered into the kitchen and forgotten why he was there.

Plus Sarah Palin as vice-president would have been a disaster. You can’t have someone like that one heartbeat away from the presidency when the heart belongs to a seventy two year old man who’s been through a war. Of course it’s my opinion. It’s my blog. How can someone be anti-abortion and pro the death penalty. "no! you can't terminate that preganancy cos it might grow up to be a murderer and then we could kill it". Plus, I think it's a bit rich to go on about being pro-life and then kill a moose. I did quite fancy her though and wanting to have sexual relations with a vice-presidential candidate was definitely a first for me. Although I thought Michael Dukakis had lovely eyes.

So each week I’m going to choose a topic and write about it. And this week, it’s Obama. Nothing else comes close. See you next Tuesday.