Hard But Fair

Fabio Capello is the best manager that England have had since Sir Alf Ramsey. I’ve said in the past that I’m not particularly optimistic about the world cup. But any optimism I may be feeling has absolutely nothing to do with any of the players bar Wayne Rooney and everything to do with the manager. Fabio Capello is on a ridiculous wage and no doubt there are bonus payments that will be triggered the further he takes us in the tournament but he seems to be worth every penny. As much as someone on one hundred thousand pounds a week can be said to be worth every penny unless he’s single handedly saving the planet from alien invaders. In which case I’d be happy to discuss a bonus.

The thing about Capello is he seems to be the real thing. Not a hard man exactly but you wouldn’t want to cross him. A stern disciplinarian who may well shout at the players but only when they absolutely deserve it. Not one of the lads and yet comfortable with the banter of a dressing room. Plus he wears glasses. And not ridiculous ‘I’m wearing glasses but I don’t really want you to notice them’ Sven Goran Eriksson type glasses. Proper glasses with proper frames, glasses that speak of a man who’s been so focused on the job at hand that his eyes have suffered and even though he could easily afford laser eye surgery has opted to not have the operation for fear of losing valuable time watching football.

It’s so refreshing. Our last few managers have been a sorry collection of misfits and miscreants. Kevin Keegan was liked but not loved (except on Tyneside where grown men go weak at the knees at the mere mention of his name) and in hindsight too emotionally unstable to have ever coped with such a high profile job. Sven was the polar (almost literally) opposite, too cool and Swedish for our taste plus there were the unseemly affairs with Ulrika (sort of understandable) and the secretary at the FA (Completely undignified. I mean, can anyone imagine Sir Alf or Ron Greenwood having sex with a secretary?). And then there was Steve McClaren, a man who was quite plainly so out of his depth that one had to avert one’s eyes at press conferences. His habit of always looking for the positives in even the worst defeat started to make me feel like I wanted to pin him up against a wall and say ‘what positives you ignoramus? I’ve seen better performances in our fat, Jewish, over-forties league on a Monday night’. I always felt that if Steve’s family were wiped out in a terrible conflagration, he’d have been stood at the door of his wrecked house saying ‘well, obviously it wasn’t the result I was looking for but one has to look for the positives. I managed to save the dog so that gives me something to build on for the next family’.

But now, finally we have a man we can have faith in. My feeling is that Fabio will take us as far as it’s possible for this team to go. It may be that being Italian, he has the emotional detachment necessary to distance himself from any abuse he may get at the first sign of a downturn in the teams fortunes. (It’s possible there’ll be a certain restraint in that department for fear of being labeled as racist although that won’t stop The Sun).

The players seem happier as well. Lest we forget, footballers although they’re on wages that would make an African dictator blush with embarrassment, are essentially overgrown teenagers who need strict instruction and guidance. They’re only really happy when they’re given a simple but definable task and told to get on with it. Kevin Keegan didn’t give them any guidance at all, Sven indulged them far too much and one could only imagine the stick Steve McClaren got after he left the room. Or even while he was still in the room.

But in Fabio we trust.