Just under two months to go to the World Cup and my pre World Cup training is going very well. The TV appears to be working fine and has a years guarantee. My sofa cushions are fluffed and ready. Unless there’s a run on alcohol, my local supermarkets have assured me that stocks will remain buoyant throughout the summer months. My girlfriend has been warned that any non-football related programmes on TV between June 8th and July 11th are subject to match scheduling.
Yes my preparations are right on target. Which is more than can be said for my team. Even with our best manager since Sir Alf, any good feelings we had about England’s prospects have been tempered by a series of unfortunate mishaps. Our goalkeepers continue to give us collective heart attacks every time they need to make a clearance, our defenders hurt themselves in a variety of ways both physical and emotional, our midfielders run themselves into the ground for their clubs and our attackers, aside from one obvious exception blow hot and cold. And at this point, even that one attacker is injured although hopefully only for a short period. It’s all probably for the best. Unbounded optimism almost always ends in tears.
There’s no doubt that Fabio Capello has instilled a winning mentality in the squad and our first eleven are a match for most teams but the chances of those eleven arriving in South Africa fit and healthy are about the same as John Terry becoming a celibate Sufi and relinquishing all earthly pleasures. And even if everyone’s available come June 10th, there’s no reason to suppose that they’ll still be available, if by some miracle they’re still needed, four weeks later.
Of course one can hope. It’s the hope that keeps you alive as someone once said, possibly me. I’ve always been a glass half full sort of guy and I’ve been known, after a fair number of full glasses, to make a very convincing case for England to win the World cup. To the point where my friends don’t actually like listening to me because they start to believe and then they’re massively let down when England invariably go out to the first decent team they play.
Strangely enough, this time around I’m not as optimistic. There are so many potential dangers. Spain in particular look absolutely brilliant. Any team that can leave out Cesc Fabregas, Javi Alonso and Pepe Reina are definitely better than us. As for Brazil, well they’re Brazil. Can we beat them? Theoretically yes. Will we? Probably not. France may have only qualified because of Thierry Henry’s handball and they’re undoubtedly past their best but if we got them in the second round, would there be a person in England who’d actually expect us to win. Germany always come good in the finals and there’s no way we’d be confident of beating them. Holland are good. Portugal are good. Argentina only just qualified but Lionel Messi could win the whole thing on his own if Diego Maradona (Boo!) got his cocaine addled, dog ravaged head round the fact that he needs to build his team around the little genius. Ivory Coast have Didier Drogba and any team with him in the line-up cannot be taken lightly. USA were quarter-finalists last time and all three of their goalkeepers are probably better than ours.
On the positive side, the weather will be in our favour. (For future reference, we have to lobby hard for all upcoming world cups to be played in countries where cloudy with sporadic showers is the most common climate).
But like I say, I don’t think we’ll win. The last time we got close was twenty years ago. And when we didn’t win, the whole nation went into a collective state of such depression and lack of self-esteem that we re-elected John Major two years later. Perhaps that should be our inspiration. If Major can be Prime Minister, anything’s possible. Portsmouth beat Spurs in the FA Cup semi-final last weekend and no-one saw that coming. Even the mad Portsmouth bloke with the bell. But maybe we need a little extra help. Let’s put everything into the bid for 2018, make the Wembley pitch even worse than it is now and then schedule all the England home games there and watch us fly.
2 comments:
perhaps we can hope that almunia gets a late call up to the spanish squad, significantly reducing their chances...
I share your optimism Ian. There's no reason that a full on-fire Rooney shouldn't bag goals. There's no reason that the great set of midfielders England can select from can't match up to the world's best.
I don't worry about recent friendlies. Don Fabio is just teaching Italian lessons, ie, don't overexert when there's no payoff. Like you, I expect big things this summer.
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